“Disharmony 1”
CHEESY MUSIC UP.
(ALL VOICEOVERS ARE CHEERY, UPBEAT AS IF THEY’RE TALKING NORMALLY.)
MICK: I was looking for a special girl. Someone who knew how to have fun. Someone who liked to party so much, she could throw up a few times a night, then get right back on the horse!
MATTIE: And I was looking for someone who understood my heroin problem and didn’t give me a lot of grief about it. Thanks to our shared addiction, we found each other!
MICK & MATTIE: And now we’re helping to destroy each other’s lives!
SAMANTHA: I’m a busy woman working on Wall Street with a constant hankering to hit the crack pipe. I needed someone who could supply me AND sleep with me.
SCOTT: And she found me! You know, when you’re growing up, no one ever tells you how hard it is to find the perfect woman. Thanks to crack cocaine, I found someone who thinks like me, has paranoid delusions like me and a strong potential for heart failure…..just like me.
SAMANTHA & SCOTT: We couldn’t be sicker together!
SERIOUS MUSIC UP.
ANNCR: Sound like anyone you know? We can help. Call the Canterbury Institute For Addiction Treatment. The most advanced, most comprehensive treatments for all types of addictions. It’s outpatient and confidential. 732-379-6000.
“Disharmony 2”
CHEESY MUSIC UP.
(ALL VOICEOVERS ARE CHEERY, UPBEAT AS IF THEY’RE TALKING NORMALLY.)
JEFF: A while back, I started searching for my soulmate – someone who could shoot heroin, do a speedball and knock back a dozen beers all under an hour!
JODY: And I wasn’t looking at all! But when I met Jeff, I said to myself: “that is one sweaty, anorexic addict I cannot resist!” Thanks to our drug problems….
JEFF & JODY: ……we couldn’t be more screwed up!
DIANE: I’m a very busy lawyer. I needed a partner who shared my love for crack. A real man – someone who wasn’t scared to buy drugs on the street.
MICHAEL: I used to be so picky. She had to be an alcoholic who wanted children and didn’t mind getting beaten up every once in a while. But then I met Diane and, hey, two out of three ain’t bad! Thanks to drugs….
DIANE & MICHAEL: ….we’ll probably both die at an early age!
SERIOUS MUSIC UP.
ANNCR: Sound like anyone you know? We can help. Call the Canterbury Institute For Addiction Treatment. The most advanced, most comprehensive treatments for all types of addictions. It’s outpatient and confidential. 732-379-6000.
